04 September 2014

15 august.
we bought a new house.  this old one, which we've loved and grown in and made our own--it has been good to us in so many ways.  and in so many ways, it was not quite right for what we will, do, need and want as our family grows. 

we planned for a slow transition--still living in our sweet little green house as we make changes to the white house just around the corner.  so close I rolled the push mower over there the other weekend, clackity clacking up the block as the new neighbor laughed over her fence.  so close we walked past it on dog walks every day for years without taking too much notice.  strange and exciting to think we'll be living there now.  I have always been an ease-into-the-pool type, toes first, feeling the water slide up my calves like ice cold rubber bands.  this is a little like that, emotionally; we're savoring the gradual slide into the inevitable plunge (and saddling ourselves with double the yardwork in the meantime).

and so I'm waiting here now for the boys to come home from their fourth? fifth? day of school, counting up what's been done and what needs doing.  moving with a twenty month old is a fool's errand, but imogen is charming enough to make even that seem palatable.  I've felt a bit adrift this year--personally, creatively--so if nothing else I think the move is focusing some of that energy. 

there are a million other things I could write here--about the deliciousness of some mostly-normal months for Imogen, about the rocky ground and smooth with the boys these days, about my love affairs with instagram and pinterest, about visiting family and missing them after, about art I've seen and books I've read, about my hesitance writing about any of the good and privileged in my life in the summer of Ferguson and ebola and Iraq. 

mostly I think it's worthwhile to pay attention.  to notice.  boxes be damned, I'm hoping to get back into that habit this fall.

04 February 2014

and also, habit.

I am super honored to be participating as a guest contributor at habit this month.  if you don't know that space, you should--molly, emily, and now tara have cultivated a true oasis in the tangles of the inter-webs.  these ladies and their guests have been contributing a picture + thirty words (or less!), each day since 2008.  it's every inch the extraordinary gathering they imagined it would be.

27 January 2014

mostly, flickr.

why hello, little blog! you're looking kinda scruffy there, are they feeding you enough?

well.  not really, but I am still glad it's here. 

lately, I've been doing a picture-a-day practice over on flickr--I'm not sure if I will go for a full 365 or not, but I'll at least make it through January--and it's kind of addictive, seeing those photos build up.  I've been more journal-y in the captions thus far, which is also nice, from a record-of-days standpoint.  So if you've missed me, or are feeling nosy about the minutia of our life, you can find those photos here.

The last 365 I tried was in 2012, and it came to an abrupt halt in August, with Imogen's 20-week ultrasound and diagnosis.  After such a life-changing 2013, it feels somewhat poetic, or at least balancing, to return to a document-the-"normal" photography ritual in 2014. 

I also signed up for the Instagram beta on my windows phone.  I am not sure whether it will be my "thing" or not--still, if it's yours, look me up: @thisismarzipan.

and finally, in the midst of all the growing and learning and settling into ourselves, I have indeed been making things, so maybe one of these days I will get back around to writing about that, since it's what brought me to this blogging world and what gets me through the rough bits of the real world.  that, and my people.  hi, people.

01 October 2013

this guy.


Owen turned eight and it's blowing my mind. Eight years of being a parent. Eight years of this guy.

About this year I will remember how he again and again rose to the occasion--in the face of so much that was scary and confusing and just plain not-fun. I will remember how independent he is becoming--cooking, biking, soccer, time with friends. I can't remember the last time he asked for help getting dressed in the morning.

I will remember his still-innocent wisdom. And how he explained to me that "sexy" means "someone who wants to make a lot of money. I think. Lady Gaga is sexy, right?" I'll remember how he still reaches for his hole blankie at bedtime, and when he's upset, but he sometimes forgets to bring it in the car for the ride to school. I will remember the sound of his voice and Elliott's on the other side of the window, inventing worlds on the front porch together. I will remember his ardent love for his new baby sister--how the two of them dissolve into smiles when they see one another after time apart.

Things are changing with this parenting gig, I can feel it. and I can't say that I'm ready. But gosh am I glad to be figuring things out with him.

26 September 2013

how she sleeps.

like this:

how she sleeps.

after two babies who were enthusiastic nursers, to say the least, it's so strange--and more than a little sad--having one who doesn't need that ritual to go to sleep.  I guess if anything will teach you to self-soothe, it's five and half months of nights in a hospital.  but, watching her pull her lovey up over her face, suck her fingers, and drift off, I am also proud of her.  brave Imogen, who goes and does what she has to with steel in her eyes and peace in her smile.  there are so many other ways we've worked and learned to make her feel secure, but in this moment, as in so many others, we have to step aside so she can do it on her own.  brave me, for letting her lead the way.

24 September 2013

back to school.

I forgot to take first-day-of-school pictures this year so we faked it a few days in. 

back to school.

back to school.

It's funny how they have such different photo-personalities.

back to school.

About Owen's sweater: it's a size 4, and pretty much the only one he has worn for the past several years. After looking at this photo, I realized it's really time for an update. But I do love how it contributes to his overall hipster look.

Oh, and we took one with the baby, too:

back to school.

04 September 2013

today, I am.

back to it.

{potato's eye view of the mess under our sofa right now... this summer has been an exercise in making peace with chaos.}

--coming off of a labor day weekend packed to the gills with pool, friends, and food.
--thankful for a moment of quiet after a joyful summer with all three of my kids at my side.  hello, school year.
--marveling at how long it's been since my last post in this space.  I knew it had been a while, but April, wow!
--reaching for my camera after a slump of sorts, and taking a deep breath as I consider opening up to that form of expression again. 
--thinking about how this blog has fit my needs for journaling and recording at different points in time, and how it might best suit right now.
--looking at the small changes in our physical space that have somehow managed to take shape in this busy year.  a new paint color here, a mirror or a fan hung there.  little bits of nesting that found their way (how??) into the midst of all the hospital nights, feeds and meds, appointments--because home is where our heart is, I suppose.  (that, or we needed to stave off anxiety with busyness.  both likely true.)
--putting off pumping.  sigh.
--looking forward to a visit from my parents soon--their first chance to spend time with Imogen post-hospital.
--realizing I'm overdue for an update in her space, too.
--perusing after-school activities for the boys this fall, trying to be thoughtful about what will enhance our family life and what will just add more to our schedule.
--grinning widely at Meg's news.
--enjoying (theoretically) the idea of spending a little more time in the kitchen this fall, and strategizing for more organized menu planning.  (ideas, anyone?)
--realizing I've been as much of a slacker about blog reading as I have been at writing--a quick browse suggests I missed some good stuff this summer.  Hello, internet.

hope the start of fall finds you all well--it's good to be back here, from the other side of the sun. 


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